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Saturday, January 28, 2006
I've moved to babyatom.blogs.com
I've been thinking about it for a while now, and have spent the last few weeks working on a new babyatom website.
So this is my last post here (sniff, sniff).
Thank you for your company over the years, it's been great fun.
I do hope you'll come and visit my new website - babyatom.blogs.com - so the fun can continue!
.....posted at 6:14 pm permalink
Thursday, January 26, 2006
One thing's for certain...
On my way in this morning I noticed a cab parked by the side of the road. It looked a bit odd so I pulled over and had a peek inside: the driver was hunched over the steering wheel with blood trickling out of his mouth. I reached in through the open window and checked his pulse. Nothing.
I concluded that one thing's for certain in the life: death in taxis.
.....posted at 3:14 pm permalink
Monday, January 23, 2006
Gettin' on a jet plane
American customs sure are thoro! Everyone going through had to take off their shoes and belts, as well as the usual stuff of putting phones, wallets etc into the little box. I also had to take my laptop out of its case and send it through the x-ray machine. Which got me to thinking, "I think I'll have a play on my laptop when I get through there."
So that's what I'm doing. As a bonus there's free wireless, apparently everywhere. It's pretty slow, but, as the saying goes, 'don't look a gift Internet in the mouse'.
As I'm flying out from Florida in the afternoon, and there's a 5 hour time difference, I'll be landing in Manchester around 8am. My plan is therefore to sleep most the way, otherwise I'm going to be tired at the wrong times when I get back home. However, I'll try and squeeze a movie in - would be silly not to.
Right then, just another 2 hours to wait...
.....posted at 9:41 pm permalink
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Epcot
For my 2nd day off I lounged around by the pool in the morning and then went to Epcot in the afternoon. The first ride I went on simulated flying to Mars: it was good but made me feel very queezy. I then walked round the park, trying a few things here and there, looking at stuff, listening to the funny Americans, taking pictures.
I went round the whole place and there was only one other ride to go on, Soarin'. This was good, and I got running commentary from a drunk Texan woman throughout.
Half the park is given over to other countries, little Disney versions of China, Mexico, France, Japan, Norway etc. I ate some Yorkshire fish and chips in England before making my way back to the resort.
All in all, it was odd: there was loads of stuff there, but nothing really to do. The crowds of people there would probably disagree, so I guess I don't get it.
In fact, I'm sure that's it.
Disney: huh?
.....posted at 10:34 pm permalink
Saturday, January 21, 2006
A 32 year old man found alone in Disney World
After the conference I decided to get on one of the free buses to Downtown Disney. The idea was to get out of the resort, have some dinner, and have a look about.
It's about 30 minutes away, but because this is Disney World, it's all Disneyfied: everything's neat, organised, shiny, colourful. It's all fake.
Anyway, once Downtown I walked about, looking at stuff. It was all shit: I'm not into Disney at all, and that's all there is there! Except at the end where there's a big Virgin Megastore. So I spent some time listening to some CDs in there and that was good.
Then I decided I should get something to eat. There were all sorts of whacky themed horrors, and Planet Hollywood. I chose PH, went in, was seated and then wished I'd just gone to McDonald's: it was absolutely packed, and it was all young families! I sat on my own feeling very out of place, but after a while I settled in and it was actualy ok. I had steak and fries and a couple of Buds, and when I left I was actually quite proud (and stuffed) of having sat there on my own.
But then I had to walk back through the fake town, and the kids with their wide eyes and Mickey hats started to make me feel out of place again, so I ran screaming all the way to the bus stop.
(That last bit's not true: I just walked casually like a cool dude).
.....posted at 3:57 am permalink
The 'Word of Mouth' conference
So it's all over. Two full days of full-on talks and talking about word of mouth marketing for 420 people from all over the world (but mainly the US).
For those of you who don't know what this is (that's ok, it's pretty new), WOM is actually all about customers doing your marketing for you by simply telling their friends and family about you. Obviously, they'll only do this if they like you. And only certain types of people will be bothered to recommend things to friends and family. But it happens all the time and has been happening for years.
So the newness of all this is the ability to stimulate and facilitate this exchange of opinions about you. Blogs, forums, discussion boards, focus groups, 'tell a friend', viral marketing campaigns... all this stuff tweaked to achieve the ultimate goal: loads of people who like you telling loads of their friends who'll then tell loads of their friends...
The first day started at 8am and went on till 6pm, and was non-stop. The variety of talkers, from inspiring creatives to dull number-crunchers, was incredible: there was a bit of everything. At 6pm we all got on 7 coaches to go to Disney's Animal Kingdom for an African feast (whihc was delicious: I had turkey, lamb, and some weird stuff I couldn't see because it was dark and couldn't tell what it was by the taste, but it was nice).
The second day was more of the same, but we finished at 4pm. If anything, it was even more packed, with sessions lasting 25 minutes each. Again, the variety was mind-boggling.
It was knackering and I was exhausted at the end of it all!
I've learnt so much, it's amazing (to me). And I managed to schmooze the whole time, and actually did it quite well.
Aside from the learning and schmoozing, there was a guy who gave a cool talk about approachability - Scott. He left a conference in November 2000 and decided not to take his name tag off. He's been wearing it 24/7 now for over 5 years, and it's not only taught him stuff about approachability, but formed the basis of his career. Cool career.
And now I'm in my room, watching some TV, typing some stuff, and just taking things easy.
What shall I do tomorrow I wonder?
.....posted at 3:38 am permalink
My journey to Disney World
For the first time in my life I flew business class. I boarded the Virgin Atlantic 747, showed the nice lady my boarding pass and she said "Please make your way upstairs, sir". Cool! Upstairs! Sir!
Upstairs is a set of about 30 seats, laid out in two rows of two. They're very comfortable, have loads of leg room, recline quite a lot, and have a little row of cubby boxes between them and the window, so you can keep your stuff close to hand. This was wonderful. But what was even better was that there were only 10 of us up here! Ah, the luxury.
So I settled in and watched 4 movies:
Wedding Crashers. This was absolutely hilarious, so good I watched bits of it again during the flight. Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Christopher Walken and a surprise guest (I won't spoil it, it's very funny) - it could only have been better if it had Bill Murray and Chevy Chase. Highly recommended, 10/10 .
Flight Plan. A weird film, and not in a good way. It doesn't really make any sense, the genre keeps shifting, and it's ultimately silly. Which is a shame because Jody Foster's cool. 3/10.
Sky High. Could have been really good: it's a bit like The Incredibles, but not a cartoon. There are some fun things in it (like the bad guy being called Warren Peace) but it's clear the producers consider it a kid's film: the plot is very naff, and the ending - perlease! 4/10.
Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Pretty much as good as movies like this get. However, I'd been in my seat for 7 hours by now, had just watched 3 movies back to back, and couldn't keep my eyes open, so I missed most of it. But what I saw was brilliant! 9/10.
So, I arrived in Orlando refreshed and movied-out. I breezed through customs, picked up my bag, got on the courtesy coach (everyone has to say nice things to each other) to Coronado Springs resort (near Disney's Animal Kingdom), checked in, and I'd arrived.
.....posted at 3:16 am permalink
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Oh. My. God.
Well, after a 3 hour train journey, followed by 10 hours on a plane, and then an hour in a coach, I'm finally here in Florida. The trip was good, but I'll tell you all about that another time.
After checking into the hotel I went for a little look around: it's nice but really weird to be in a holiday resort on bidness. And apart from the resort, there's nothing for miles. I fancied going to a regular store for some American snacks, but I asked and there's nothing within walking distance.
Anyway, after my wandering, I went to the conference evening pre-get together and it was nasty! I started off by getting a drink and just going up to a small group and introducing myself. Straight away I was talking to one of the main guys, and he was awesome. He's exactly like Woody Allen, Jewish, from New York, puny but funny, and a total 'word of mouth marketing' guru: he pretty much invented it 35 years ago. I couldn't keep up at all, not even slightly. So I spoke to some other people and they were equally impressive: they're like a totally different breed. I don't know whether it's because they're American or really good at what they do, but I was totally out of my league. I gave up in the end and relied on humour to stay involved in the conversations, but I may as well have been spitting in their drinks: they didn't get me at all.
I think the fact that it's 8pm here but I think it's 1am, I've been travelling for the best part of a day, haven't eaten and had 2 Coronas probably doesn't help... so I left to come back to my room.
I've just flicked through the TV channels and 'Lost' is on. Boy is it tempting to watch, but it would totally ruin it if I did. But it's still on bhind me as I type... and I peeked and there's someone new! In fact, there's a whole bunch of new people! Ok, I'm changing channels now.
So I'm going to sleep now, as I've got to be up and at the conference proper by 8am.
I hope being sober and rested helps.
.....posted at 1:23 am permalink
Monday, January 16, 2006
A weekend full of delights
Saturday I climbed up The Old Man of Coniston via Jack Diamond's path. I couldn't see anything because I was in cloud pretty much the whole way from the car park, but this made it quite exciting! On the way I passed a couple of blokes sat on a rock having a rest. I carried on past them, pretending to know the way, stopping a few minutes later to 'rest' (figure out where I was). The two blokes passed me, then stopped a little further up. I then passed them and stopped, and so on. It was so cloudy we couldn't make out any features so it was nearly impossible to work out where we were on the map! We finally admitted to each other that we were lost, and, after another 1/2 hour of wandering about, my companions decided to give up and head back. Which was very sensible given that we could have been anywhere. But I had a hunch I knew the way, and headed off in what I felt was the right direction. After 10 minutes I hit a very distinct path and after that it was easy. I even got to see some wonderful views on the way down as the cloud cleared.
On Sunday we went to a reclamation yard for a shelf to put up over our fireplace. We found just the thing, and it was only £35. We put it up, painted it and it looks wonderful.
In the afternoon I went for a run in the rain, through weird rock-filled fields round the back of our house. I don't normally go in this fields because they're usually filled with sheep and cows, but they were empty so I investigated. It was nice.
I like weekends like that.
.....posted at 1:44 pm permalink
Friday, January 13, 2006
I'm going to Orlando (on very important bidness)
In the fun, fast-moving and highly paid world of emarketing, it's important that those at the top keep their fingers on the pulse. Just doing your job isn't enough, you've got to over-deliver, be more than you can be, create previously unimagined opportunities, be a dynamic go-(go-dancer)-getter.
I work in this world, and it's the best! Oh, the amount of times I look up from my work to see the time and cry out, "What!? It's only 10am!!" It's incredible how quickly the day drags by when you're in such a vibrant environment - 9 hours just isn't enough, where does all that time go!
So, to make sure I'm 'in on the good stuff', I'm off to a conference being hosted in Orlando next week. I say Orlando, but it's actually in Disney World: WOMMA.
In all honesty, it does sound interesting: there's a pool, the weather's nice this time of year, it'll help maximise ROI, improve conversion rates, proper big burgers, Mickey! The conference lasts for 2 days, but I'm actually away for 6, what with the travelling and 'awkward' flight schedules.
Now this may sound wonderful to those of you not coming with me (which is the entire rest of the world because I'm going on my own), but I'm going on my own to a big conference in America and there's a big dinner event and 'networking opportunities' and that sounds like a bloody nightmare to me. Yes, it's 25 degrees and sunny at the moment, and I get a couple of days off, and I've never been there before, and I get to travel in business class (you get your own telly!), and the hotel's in Disney's Animal Kingdom... but come on, it sounds a bit dull doesn't it?
Before you start feeling sorry for me, I've got a plan. The worst thing about all this is that I'll be out of the office for so long, so I'm going to take some work I don't understand with me, record some people shouting at me before I leave, make some small but significant mistakes whilst checking in (and hope no-one finds out about them), allow terrible creative decisions to be made with the hotel decor without saying anything, and lose my wallet before I arrive so I can recreate the whole 'working in an office' experience in my hotel room: it's important to keep the routine going after all.
.....posted at 10:31 am permalink
Name that tune
I didn't hear this on my iPod this morning, but for some reason have just started to hum it to myself. Name the tune (and try to avoid singing it all day long):
Hello party people!
This is captain Kim speaking.
Welcome aboard Venga Airways.
After take off will pump up the soundsystem...
.....posted at 10:28 am permalink
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Not stopping, just on my way through
What have I been mainly doing?
Working (till quite late on some occasions).
Eating (quite a lot, especially whilst watching 'Celebrity Fit Club' for some reason).
Sleeping (not enough: every morning I wake up knackered, promising myself an early night).
What have I not been doing?
Exercise (none whatsoever).
Thinking about anything much (work claims pretty much everything I have).
Doing anything interesting.
What have I seen that I'd normally find interesting?
A new Apple laptop, the MacBook Pro (not really bothered).
A dead dear on the road (...).
A wonderful sunrise (it was freezing and I felt dizzy, so I didn't really appreciate it)
What have I been excited about
PocketMod - just awesome.
I've just installed 2GB of RAM into my work Mac (I know, yawn).
The season finale of Lost.
My Name is Earl.
Invasion
I ordered 2 CDs from Amazon yesterday, my first music purchase since... er... well, a long time. New Strokes and (not brand new) Grandaddy coming my way soon.
What's my general outlook?
Pretty bleak, slightly aggressive, a little worried about the future.
What's the plan now?
To just keep on going until I get some inspiration.
.....posted at 9:12 am permalink
Monday, January 09, 2006
Apologies
January seems to have hit me in the blogs: in pretty much all other aspects of my life I'm back up to speed, but I can't seem to blog.
Normal service will be resumed shortly.
.....posted at 10:26 am permalink
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
First day back at work
It's a bit like being a grown up trapped in a child's body, going to school for the very first time: everything's familiar to you, but your body doesn't seem to be able to do anything; you know everyone but can't seem to speak to them without feeling like a stranger; your desk's how you left it, but you can't type properly or open things easily with your mouse.
But after a few hours, the little child starts to become more adept, and then after lunch it's as if you'd never been away. It's all still pretty bad, but then that's nothing new. Somehow, the freedom of the last few days seems like a distant memory, and it almost feels good to be trapped in the routine.
And on the drive home you can listen to Ricky Gervais's 5th episode and grin all the way.
Ah... life's dull, but it does have some good bits.
.....posted at 7:12 pm permalink
Monday, January 02, 2006
Back to work eve
Of all the eves over the festive season, this is without doubt the worst. I've been away from work now for almost 2 weeks, and whilst I've not made the most of my freedom, spending my days doing what I would class as 'pottering about', it was wonderful to see daylight, be able to decide what time to get up, and do things at a leisurely pace.
But now I've got to go to sleep in time to allow myself enough sleep so that when I wake up in the cold dark morning, I'll be rested enough to be able to function efficiently for the entire working day... for my employer.
I'll stop thinking about all this before I start crying: it's best to just get on with it.
.....posted at 11:08 pm permalink
Christmas 2005: read all about it
It wasn't a classic, but it was ok. My holiday consisted of going for little walks (mainly on the beach, but a few times up some hills), eating loads, watching rubbish telly, pottering about, hanging around, staying up late, sleeping in.... I got some really good presents, and I think people liked the presents I gave them. New Year's was rubbish, but then I didn't actually do anything, so it wasn't ever going to be good.
I went for a nice walk up Troutbeck Tongue (a strange little hill that sits in the middle of a big valley) on Christmas day with little Benn and Indy.
Indy had never been on a 'proper walk' before - I think he liked it.
The best thing about Christmas 2005? Not having to go to work!
.....posted at 8:32 pm permalink
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Christmas break
It's finally here! I'm soooo excited, it's just magical.
With Christmas just a few days away, and my big project finally launched, I'm taking a well-earned break from machines with keyboards.
See you in the new year!
Or maybe sooner if I get withdrawal symptoms.
.....posted at 11:17 pm permalink
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Bodcast
Do you like Ricky Gervais? Do you 'podcast'?
Then listen to Ricky Gervais's podcast: it's very funny.
.....posted at 6:23 pm permalink
Thursday, December 15, 2005
A list of things I saw today
Today was a pretty average day. In fact, I can't remember anything particularly unusual.
So it's a perfect day to make a list about the things I saw during it, and to spice it up, what I thought about each of them.
1. A dead deer.
At least I think it was a deer. It was quite big and was lying by the road with its head in a strange position. Conclusion: modern life's hard and we do well if we get home at the end of the day in one piece.
2. A bag of Salt and Vinegar Hula Hoops for 27p.
I love these. Hula Hoops are the king of casual crisps, especially the big bags you get at motorway service stations. There was a time a few months ago when a bag would set me back 17p. Now they're 27p. Life's expensive eh.
3. A piece of dog shit in the shape of a foot print.
I looked away as quickly as possible because that's a nasty thing to look at. But I couldn't help thinking of the poor bugger who owned the foot.
4. A Campervan in really good nick.
My mate used to have a VW Campervan so I know what they're like: shit. But they look so cool it's a shame.
5. A romance novel.
Whilst in WHSmith I had a quick look at the books and noticed an old fashioned romance novel called something like 'Throbbing Romance on the Beach'. It looked rubbish, but people like that stuff don't they. Fair enough I suppose.
6. A closed cafe.
It looked like a nice cafe, but it was shut. On one of the tables was a pile of holiday brochures.
7. The blanked out faces of a murdered man's children.
Whilst having my lunch (at my desk) I visited the BBC website. On there was a story of a wealthy man who was stabbed by a mental poor man who has a thing about wealthy people. The photo showed the wealthy man, his wife and two small children... but they had no faces.
8. A crow.
I often mistake crows for eagles or hawks. Some are very big, and they fly quite elegantly sometimes. Maybe they're as interesting as an eagle or hawk, I don't know. But I feel duped by them so I call them cunts.
9. A bra.
I stopped off at the Co-op on the way home to buy something, and parked in front of a bra shop. Is it ok to look at bras or does it mean I'm a monster? I avoided looking in the direction of the shop just in case.
10. Flashing Christmas lights.
We bought some simple white lights to adorn the tree by our house. They look really nice. Our neighbour has now adorned the front of their house with massive twinkling white lights that look very impressive. Ours look a bit feeble now.
Isn't it amazing how dull a day can be. And life is made up of loads of these.
But then there are those corkers that make it all worth while. Maybe tomorrow.
.....posted at 8:03 pm permalink
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
The best 'best movie list', ever, part 1
When I was a little younger, I was very pretentious. I still am, but I hide it well so people don't notice so much, not even me. I'm sure you had your moments too.
Here's a list, inspired by a friend with a little i that goes some way to showing you what I mean...
Top 5 movies from when I was about 18.
1. Eraserhead
2. Picnic at Hanging Rock
3. Citizen Kane
4. 2001: A Space Odyssey
5. Dr. Strangelove
.....posted at 11:02 pm permalink
Monday, December 12, 2005
Hey - where you been?
I've been away! It's been a long time since I've been away, but it's nice to go away every now and then.
So last Tuesday I went down to London to a conference about email marketing that was actually very interesting. Whilst there I met up with an old friend and we went out in Soho for a few drinks. After the conference that was actually very interesting and about email marketing, I stopped off at my parents' for a few days. Whilst there I played golf with my dad (went round in 100), did some Christmas shopping, drank soya cappuccinos with hazlenut syrup, ate nice food, went to the gym and lounged around in the sauna and jacuzzi and swam in the pool, went for a run in the woods, bought a DVD recorder to replace my dad's VCR, bought a digital camera to replace my mum's APS camera, and got a cold and felt a bit unwell.
Now I'm back at work and it's very hectic and I'm just about keeping up.
So think yourselves lucky I managed to post at all!
(I don't feel very well: my head hurts, I feel dizzy, I feel weak. Do you think it could be meningitis?)
.....posted at 1:17 pm permalink
Monday, December 05, 2005
It's the end of the world as we know it...
We watched War of the Worlds last night.
I thought it was brilliant! The way it started and the 'everydayness' of Tom Cruise's life, the inquisitiveness of the crowds in the face of the big machines, the special effects, the way the story developed, and the climax... it was all good. I've heard mixed reviews and I don't really get why people didn't like it: it's a darn good Steven Spielberg movie.
.....posted at 12:34 pm permalink
Sunday, December 04, 2005
ebay
Sold something on ebay t'other day.
It probably means nothing to you, but I sold a pair of Land Rover diff guards for £80. They're really good - they protect the lowest points of the car so driving over a rock is less worrying.
This is my second time on ebay and it was just as exciting as the first. In the beginning with nothing happened, then someone bid 99p, then it slowly went up and up until the very last minute when the winner placed their bid.
It's very satisfying - feels like money for nothing!
.....posted at 10:01 am permalink
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Sofa so good
(I wonder how many times that pun's been used. Hmmm)
Our sofas arrived yesterday! The luxury! As mentioned in a previous post, we've been managing for the last 8 months with a tiny little wooden 2-seater. It has served us surprisingly well, but it's not luxury.
But we'll suffer 'not luxury' no more as 'luxury' have arrived: two big brown flowery-patterned sofas. You might recoil in horror at the adjectives 'brown' and 'flowery', but they look lovely and give our lounge that authentic little cottage look. I'm not really that bothered about that though, I'm just delighted to have them so I can start enjoying the 'luxury'.
Last night I sat on mine whilst browsing iTunes and generally cursing my Firewire cable for being a piece of shit whilst Corrie sat on hers playing a game of shouting 'GET DOWN' to the big black lump of annoyance that is Indy. We then both sprawled out on our respective sofa to watch 'Lost'.
It was... luxury.
.....posted at 8:40 am permalink
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
List
Inspired by an absent friend, here's a list of things I used to not like but that I do like now (in no particular order).
1. Vegetables.
I love them now, both for their taste and goodness.
2. Running.
I used to do it every now and then but never got into it, but recently I've 'seen the light' and really enjoy it (when I go, which is rarely nowadays).
3. Girls.
Ok, I'm talking a long time ago when I was a little boy in primary school and I used to scrunch up my face and go "YUK!" when my mum asked if I had a girlfriend.
4. The news.
In particular 'Newsnight'. Admittedly I watch mainly for the arguments between Paxman and the politicians, but I also enjoy the 'Brass Eye' style the BBC have adopted recently, as well as the way the bod in the studio interviews the bod out on location: it's a weird conceit to adopt to describe what's going on, and it's utterly ridiculous! The bloody newsy losers!!
5. Football.
I used to HATE football, and I still DETEST everything associated with it... except for 'Match of the day'. I enjoy seeing all the goals, especially those scored by Terry Henry (the Arsenal) and Mickey Rooney (Man U) because they're excellent. I also enjoy the post-match analysis offered by the old-timers in the studio.
6. Beer.
I was never much of a drinker, even during my university years. I tried a few times, but I just felt poorly so tended to stick to R-Whites. However, what with having a stressful job and being miserable and cross most of the time, I've taken to having the odd Guinness every now and then/every night. It's ok though: Guinness is good for you.
7. Spinach.
Man, why didn't I love this when I was a kid - it's lush!! (It's a vegetable isn't it, so it should be under '1' I suppose, but it's so delicious it deserves its own listing).
8. Doing nothing.
Ah, how I wish I had all that time to do nothing with like I used to.
9. Getting up early.
Not stupid early, but before 10am. I used to sleep till 1pm but now I struggle to get past 9am and actually it's quite good at that time of day, especially Saturdays because 'Dick and Dom' is on.
10. Computers.
I used to be all 'boring, rubbish, huh' with computers, but now I'm all 'cool, easy, nice'. White Apple ones in particular. Oh, and they put bread on my table.
.....posted at 4:56 pm permalink
The Strokes
Cool!
.....posted at 11:15 am permalink
Monday, November 28, 2005
Hey Ben, what you been up to?
Well...
We're currently having an almighty struggle with the physics of smoke. We have two fireplaces in our house: one in the lounge and another in the kitchen. The lounge fireplace used to be concealed by a VERY nasty electric fire, but is now home to a wood-burning stove that is so hot we have to keep the doors open to be able to sit in the room. The kitchen fireplace used to be a lot smaller, tiny in fact, and used to be surrounded by HIDEOUS 1960s brown and pink tiles, but is now smartly adorned with a 17th century hob-grate in front of the original blackened stones of the chimney.
The battle we're having is with this hob-grate. No matter what we try, some smoke escapes the chimney and comes out into the room. Actually, when I say some smoke, I really mean most of. I spent last weekend fashioning narrowings for the throat and improvised hoods and managed to get 99% of the smoke to go up. The plan was to get my bodged effort turned into metal and permanently attached. However, a chance visit to our local reclamation yard saw us excitedly trying out an antique fire hood that fitted almost perfectly. A fire was lit and the room promptly filled with smoke. Bugger! After a bit of fiddling about we managed to make it almost work - the flue wasn't tall enough so smoke was escaping out into the cavities of the chimney, cooling, and then coming back down and out into the room. So my mission this week is to get some metal from the blacksmith to extend the flue. Fingers crossed: it's getting bloody cold in the kitchen.
We picked up our kitchen table on Saturday! This is very exciting for us. Since moving in we've been on the look out for an authentic pine kitchen table to give our kitchen that authentic country cottage kitchen feel. Could we find such a thing? Could we f. Everything we found was either too expensive or too small. So we ended up going to a pine shop and getting one made from reclaimed pine. It was a compromise, but we had to get something. However, it turns out we should have done that from the beginning: it's perfect! It looks really nice and makes the room feel like a proper kitchen at last.
I spent a bit of time on Sunday finishing off a couple of new babyhobo t-shirts.
I watched House of Flying Daggers yesterday which is a beautiful film, but a little unbalanced: lots of time is spent on scenes that have little impact on the plot but that look nice, and little time is spent on important scenes that are perhaps not as visual. But it's good.
So what about you? Get up to anything interesting?
.....posted at 10:36 am permalink
Sunday, November 27, 2005
And another
Richard Burns died the other day too. Now that is sad.
.....posted at 9:42 am permalink
Friday, November 25, 2005
Oh well
It's probably Best that way.
.....posted at 1:15 pm permalink
Ridiculous
I drove through a little village last night, and in the middle of the green was a fir tree adorned with hundreds of bright lights: it was lit up like a bloody Christmas tree.
.....posted at 9:30 am permalink
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Name that tune
I heard a song I've not heard for years on the way home tonight. Know it?
"You don't have to take it lying down, so blow your nose, baby"
.....posted at 10:30 pm permalink
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Guess the headline
The game goes like this: I post a news story and you have to guess the headline that goes with it.
"Police from North Yorkshire were questionning two youths from Leeds yesterday about an incident that resulted in the death of a jackdaw. A spokeswoman for the police said the youths, aged 11 and 13, claimed the jackdaw was "making fun of them from the branch of a tree".
The RSPB are also investigating.
.....posted at 1:46 pm permalink
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Chasn
'Never Mind The Buzzcocks' was on the other night and I watched it. It's not something I particularly enjoy, mainly becuase Mark Lamarr is an arrogant and antagonistic twat (although he's fine on the radio - weird), but I often find myself watching it regardless.
Chasn (from Chasn Dave) was on and he told this story which I found very funny.
They were touring in Australia and one of his roadies wanted to buy a crucifix. He went into a shop that sold stuff like that.
"I'd like to buy a crucifix please," he said to the man in the shop.
"Do you want a plain one" asked the man, "or one with a little bloke on?"
.....posted at 12:58 pm permalink
Bang!
Do you remember the last time you did something without regard for the consequences?
As a child, I'd say I was pretty average, give or take the odd aversion to team sports and fighting. We used to skid on the ice patch in the playground at break times, eat 7 packets of Polos in one go, run around endlessly for no obvious reason, eat bags of Quavers in one swift inhale as if they were vital to our survival... For packed lunch I never had the same as the other kids, which I always attributed to my mum being French - the French don't really do packed lunches. That was fine, except the other kids always got cartons of Ribena. Again, I wasn't really bothered about the Ribena, I was happy with my little bottle of plain tap water. However, I was envious of the other kids quickly slurping their drinks, then puffing into their cartons before placing them on the ground and then stamping on them to make them EXPLODE!!! Man, those BANGS were awesome!
I'd sometimes come across an unexploded carton and leap onto it, enjoying the same sensation as the others, but finding a pristine carton back in those days was pretty rare.
Even though I remember it, I can't say that it was a major influence on my childhood.
As I was walking back from my lunch yesterday I spotted an unexploded carton tucked away beneath a hedge. My instinct was to kick it out onto the pavement and STAMP, but then I thought: "what if there's some of the drink still in there - it'll go all over my work trousers."
It was then I realised: I don't remember the last time I did something without regard for the consequences.
.....posted at 8:39 am permalink
Sunday, November 20, 2005
New t-shirts
I've just finished two new babyhobo t-shirts.
Have a look and buy some!
.....posted at 7:33 pm permalink
Friday, November 18, 2005
Children need Weed
You may be aware that today is 'Children need Weed' day.
People all over the country are doing crazy things to raise money: sitting in baths of baked beans, wearing fancy dress, jogging 100 miles whilst riding a unicycle... those sorts of things. Whilst I cringe at all this wackiness, I applaud the sentiment: raising enough money so every kid in the country can get a sneaky puff of Mary Jane, a sly toke of dope, a quick pull on a bit of blow. Some children, according to the harrowing reports I've seen on TV, have never had the opportunity to 'get high with a little help from their friends'. It's so sad. I know they make these short films featuring wide-eyed innocents with dirty smudges on their cheeks and bad haircuts to pull at your heart-strings, but even so. One child, little Billy, said his mum used to spend all day on the sofa smoking 'big smelly reefers' and eating Pringles and Drifters and never gave him a go. I tell you, that had me in tears.
I'm doing my bit. I've come into work wearing a hilarious emu suit (you know the type, where it looks like I'm riding the thing) and have donated an ounce to my local children's home.
Puff away little kiddies, puff away.
.....posted at 8:43 am permalink
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Obfuscation
Mid-morning yesterday I was informed by my rather unhelpful web host that the 'contact us' form on one of the hotel websites I'd made had been used for spam, so they'd disabled it. Great - that meant the hotel would lose bookings during their busiest time of the year until I got home after work to fix it.
So I spent a couple of hours fixing it when I got home after work, and in the process learnt something new: obfuscation. In the fight against spam, the only surefire way of not receiving it is to not have an email address. This is a bit limiting though, so the next best thing is to never let anyone know your email address. Again, this is rather restrictive. If you have a website that you use for promoting a business, you really need to show your email address on it... and if you do, nasty little spambots pick it up and that's the beginning of the end for your inbox.
There are several relatively technical ways round this which I don't understand, but the simplest is email obfuscation. You basically translate your email address into weird code that doesn't look like an email address at all, so spambots don't recognise it and therefore ignore it. Brilliant!
The annoying thing with it though is the word: I woke up at 5am this morning with it going round and round in my head like a catchy little tune: obfuscation, obfuscation, obfuscation...
.....posted at 8:55 am permalink
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Seen a few movies
I went to Blockbuster on Saturday and rented 3 movies, thinking they'd last me the week. I'd watched them all by Sunday evening! So here's what I saw...
The Village. I'd meant to see this when it came out, but wasn't overly impressed by the premise. The trailers did it an injustice: it's awesome! I was enthralled the whole time, and even though I'd sort of guessed the twist, I was still gobsmacked by it. Brilliant.
Spiderman 2. I really liked Spiderman 1, and was looking forward to 2, but it was rubbish, pretty much in every way. Shame.
50 First Dates. It's good fun, has a dubious sense of morality, and allows you to waste a couple of hours of your life without really noticing. Not as good as Punch Drunk Love, but enjoyable.
And last night, Hellboy. Utter garbage.
.....posted at 11:33 am permalink
Since I've been gone...
Been utterly overwhelmed by work recently, like some big slobbery alien that's swallowed me up whole.
So what have I been up to? On Sunday me and my Land Rover mate Roger went greenlaning. We started off on some gentle tracks above Cartmel (nearly getting stuck down a very narrow walled lane) before moving on to some rocky tracks south of Coniston. It was a bright sunny day, and the autumn colours were at their very best, and it was basically absolutely lush. By lunchtime we'd done several miles of simple offroading, so we moved onto the hard stuff: the dreaded Walna Scar. I've done it before, but it's so briiliant I wanted to do it again. I came to it this time with more offroading experience, so it wasn't anywhere near as intimidating, which sort of took a bit of the fun out of i, but it was still ace. We had to stop half way as there were a couple of offroaders stuck up above us. We helped them get going again, and continued on. When we got to the bottom (after some rather hairy moments I'd forgotten about), we had 2 choices: back home by road, or back home via another offroad track. We chose the offroading. This was a new route for me, and it was super gnarly, so it was very exciting.
We eventually got home at 5pm after a fantastic day out in the glorious Lakeland countryside, with no damage sustained (except the odd scratch and dent) - I like days like that.
.....posted at 11:22 am permalink
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Boo hoo
I wish I had a baby to blog about...
Maybe I'll invent one.
I won't have to squeeze him out,
I'll just have a ready-made new-born son.
He's only small, little Marco,
But he's already good at thieving.
So far he's nicked me 3 TVs,
A razor and a plum.
.....posted at 11:38 pm permalink
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Bed-blogging
For me, blogging has always been something I do whilst at work. I'm not quite sure why - I've got iBy wirelessly connected to the w-w-web at home, so it's absolutely no bother to blog from home. Perhaps it's the way I started blogging from work, all those years ago, as a way of learning more about this internet thing for my work doing internet things.
Anyway, I haven't been in a particularly bloggy frame of mind recently at my current work, mainly because I've had lots of work to do, and I've been doing that instead. I know, it's cheeky, but I figure they'll never find out that I'm actually working flat out all day long. If they ever suspected I was working hard and not spending my time posting whimsy nonsense on my blog, I think it could be curtains for me.
So I'm in bed at the moment. I've had a nice quiet evening during which I only watched 1/2 hour of TV, made a babyhobo tshirt for a customer and had a bath whilst listening to the radio. A simple, empty evening.
Or so it sounds. In fact, it was quite thought-provoking. Whilst in the bath, I was listening to The Lockup on Radio 1 and I found myself wishing I'd tuned the radio to another station before having lowered myself into the water: the music just sounded really boring, bland and trashy thrashy. Have you ever heard of 'Everytime I Die', 'Throwdown' or 'The Bled'? Neither had I. And I wasn't immediately impressed. However, I quite liked 'Bedouin Soundclash', which kind of spoils my point slightly, so I'm pretending I don't like them as well, for the purposes of this post.
So here is my point: when I was a cool kid, I was very into my music. I knew loads about it, went to gigs, wrote reviews, worked in a music shop, even had a band and wrote my own songs. I was cool, and my music was cool, and I would always be into cool music. As I've grown older, I've moved away from cool so incredibly slowly that I hadn't even realised, and I'm now an old fogey when it comes to music. There are a couple of young girls (20) at work who are into 'Him' and when they asked me if I liked 'Him' I replied, 'Who's he?'
I know it sounds obvious, but when we move through life we take ourselves with us. This means we can only live our own life, experience our own stuff. Some people do remain pretty objective though, by making themselves see things from other's perspectives. Taking a step back from yourself and experiencing someone else's stuff - music, way of life, food, culture, driving style, sense of humour, religion - every now and then is vital to being a 'good person'.
And it's the only way to always be into cool music
.....posted at 11:03 pm permalink
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Web geek-shirt idea
.....posted at 11:29 pm permalink
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Films I've seen recently
Anchorman. This looks like utter garbage, and it actually is, but it's well funny, especially the bit where he talks to his dog Baxter, and Will Farrell is good, like a modern-day Chevy Chase, so if you're able to watch rubbish movies without having to pay too much attention, this one's for you!
Batman Begins. It took me a while to get round to this one: it seems everyone's already seen it. I think I was wary because the other Batman movies have been a bit rubbish. This one however is awesome, and, except for a few dodgy bits (such as the ending, and the bad guy's logic) is just how a comic superhero movie should be.
Eastenders. It's not really a film as such, but I watched it last night and it was quite good.
.....posted at 11:56 am permalink
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Just around the corner
As you probably already know, my drive into work in the morning is a significant part of my day. If it weren't for the destination, it would be perfect: I enjoy driving my Land Rover through the countryside, listening to podcasts., looking at the scenery and thinking about things.
This morning I was struck by the similarity between my journey into work and my journey through life. I was going along just fine, no-one was in front of me, no-one was behind me, I had the road to myself, I was in control of my destiny. As I rounded a bend I had to apply the brakes: there was a massive queue of cars all lined up behind a lorry trying to squeeze itself along the narrow lane. I joined the end of this queue and immediately lost control of my destiny.
Life's a pretty unstable thing isn't it: one minute everything's fine, and then it changes, just like that.
.....posted at 8:35 am permalink
Friday, October 28, 2005
Just popping out...
...can I get you anything?
.....posted at 11:54 am permalink
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Oui, je regrette beaucoup
I was just checking the stats on my various websites, and quite a few people have been looking at my photos. It's nice to know I have visitors, but I don't know who they are, so it's a bit weird.
These visits got me thinking about my travels - it's actually been a while since I've looked at some of those photos, and I'd forgotten about some of the stuff I've done. And even though I've done quite a lot of the things I've wanted to do, there are so many things I wish I'd done or wish were different.
When I was at university, I was a member of the surfing club. It was a bit of a joke amongst my friends at the time because I went to Warwick uni, which is just outside Coventry, pretty much the furthest point from the coast. But every month the 10 or 12 members would drive down in a mini-bus to Devon or Cornwall and stay in a big house by the beach. Even though we were typical students and stayed up late smoking, drinking and watching videos, we'd always get up at sunrise to catch some waves. I remember one time we walked across snow on the beach at 6am to surf for about 3 minutes before racing back inside to thaw out. We'd usually start out early, then spend all day surfing, or playing games, or watching 'Point Break'. I'm glad I did that.
During our travels I did some bungy jumping in New Zealand. It's not an unusual thing to do these days, but I'd never done it, so it was new to me. At the time the bungy company were doing a special offer - 3 for the price of 2 - so I signed up for all 3. They were awesome. I'm glad I did that.
In fact, there are lots of things I'm glad I did, and they're not all based around extreme sports: played at Knebworth with my band the Soft Pink Underbellies; was a member of the lace-making club (when I was a little kid); went out with the most good-looking girl in our school (for 2 days, and never actually spoke to her); worked as a labourer down-under with a proper Aussie criminal... you get the picture.
We all have our list, some longer than others, and they're all unique - they're the experiences we've gathered on our journey through life. For some reason, and I don't know if this is the same for everyone, it would make no difference whether my list contained a huge variety of wonderful things or a tiny amount of mundane everyday things, I'd still feel as if I was just treading water if I weren't doing something cool right now. Even though I've swum with dolphins, the fact that I'm sitting in an office at the moment feels like I'm wasting my life.
When I start reminiscing like this Corrie calls me 'nostalgiaman' - I always look back on the things I've done with excessively rose-tinted spectacles. I even get nostalgic about things whilst I'm still doing them, I start to miss them before they've even ended. I don't think this is real nostalgia though, I think it's more about missing the feeling that I'm making the most of my life.
I remember learning about acceleration in GCSE physics: "the rate at which an object's velocity changes with time". It's weird because you can be going hundreds of miles an hour, but not be accelerating, so it won't feel like you're moving at all - a difficult concept to get your head round for the first time. I reckon this whole 'wasting my life' thing boils down to acceleration: if I'm not constantly doing something different, pushing forwards, I feel like I'm not getting anywhere, like I'm standing still and wasting my life.
But it's impossible to keep on accelerating isn't it.
Unless I can redefine the laws of movement, I think I'll have to pop down to Specsavers and get some different coloured glass put in my spectacles.
.....posted at 10:10 am permalink
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Hello, Bill?
What with all the rain and floods and generally nasty weather we're having at the moment, I didn't feel like doing much after work last night. I did stop off at a leisure centre to find out about gym membership, but that was as close as I got. Instead I ate some food and watched 'Lost in Translation' on DVD. I've seen it before, but it's a good film, and I like watching good films.
As you know, it's a film about those times in your life when you're a little lost and spend time just looking about, noticing things you don't normally notice when you know where you are and where you're going.
I really liked this film the first time.
This second time it made me a feel bit sad: I wish I could have joined Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson on their little adventures around Japan.
I suppose getting up in the dark, it raining all day long, and then going home in the dark does that to you.
I'll be alright.
.....posted at 4:33 pm permalink
Sunday, October 23, 2005
And it's all over now
For the second weekend in a row I've been Land Rovering. This time however I did not drive, but was the co-pilot for my mate Roger at a 'challenge' event. These are super gnarly, absolutely knackering, and great fun. Here's how they work...
You turn up at the quarry/field in your suped-up Land Rover with full recovery gear including winch, straps, waffle-boards, axe and shovel. You get 2 cards and attach one to either end of the dash. You then drive your Land Rover up to the obstacles and 'punch' each card with the little stapler-type things tied to a piece of string.
It sounds easy but these stapler-type things were tied in the most ridiculous of places: to trees dangling over fast flowing rivers, in the middle of a lake, up a very steep hill, at the bottom of gullies... Some were actually impossible to get to by foot - we got to one by attaching the winch to a rock and then slowly lowering ourselves down backwards, puching the cards, then winching back out.
Here's a picture of Roger going up the steep hill...
My job was to attach the winch to things, guide him through tricky sections, and basically run around in the knee-deep mud ensuring he knew where to go. When I got home I was exhausted and covered in mud.
Ah, relaxing Sundays!
.....posted at 9:20 pm permalink
Friday, October 21, 2005
The great 'days off' experiment: day 2
Even though I still had another day off and the whole weekend ahead of me, I'd started to mourn the end of my holidays by Thursday evening. This isn't unusual for me: I'm never happier than when I've got something miserable to think about. So I tried to stay up as late as possible, you know, to make the most of it all. I made it to about five past midnight.
I got up quite early on Friday as we were going to an auction in Grange over Sands - we're after a big pine kitchen table. I've never been to an auction before, but have seen the new breed of daytime reality shows that feature antiques, attics, and auctions, so I was, in theory, an expert.
This is how it worked: we turned up early, looked around, got a bidder's number and sat down. There was all sorts of stuff, basically house clearances: plates, cutlery, golf clubs, pianos, tables, sofas, stereos, carpets, a wheelchair, binoculars, LPs.... The auctioneer then started doing the old "who'll give me £2, yes? £3, £4, £5" etc. It's quite exciting, and fascinating to watch. There was an incredible amount of junk sold for very little money - one man's tat is another man's tat.
There wasn't a table we liked, but there was a fender Corrie liked, so she bid on it, but was outbid. Oh well. The auction was to go on all day, and there was only one other thing we were interested in, so we drove over to Kendal to buy some curtains for our front bedroom. Corrie's just put them up, which means that room is finally complete!
We returned to the auction on the way back, and sat in as the bidding moved onto the furniture. We used to have a lovely old piano at my mum and dad's and I'd always planned to get another when I had my own house. Well, I have my own house, but no room to put it in. Which is a shame because there was a really nice piano at the auction that sounded really good. The auctioneer started off at £5... no-one bid, and it went unsold! I could have stuck my hand up and said "£1" and it would have been mine! Oh well.
Anyway, the thing we wanted was way down the list and we had to go home, so we left without bidding on it. I then fixed the reverse light and indicator on my Land Rover (in the rain), had a bath (as per Emma's suggestion, albeit without the face pack) and watched 'The West Wing' and 'QI'.
The holidays are over: all we have left is the weekend.
.....posted at 11:08 pm permalink
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Fuckin' love days off!
The people I work for allow me to be away from work for 20 days a year. For some reason, I've considered this as way too much freedom, so, with 2 months of the year left, I've still got 14 1/2 days left. If I don't use them, I lose them, so I've taken Thursday and Friday (or Thurs & Fri as I would have written them if I were at work) off as holiday.
So this is how I spent my first day of freedom: woke up late, checked my emails in bed, had some breakfast, mowed the lawn, fixed some guttering, finished the skirting in the kitchen, had some lunch and watched Neighbours (have you seen it recently? All the old characters like Joe Mangle and Lance are back in it!) drove to Grizedale forest with Spooky and went for a run amongst the beautiful autumnal colours, came back and watched Richard & Judy, went to Tesco for the weekly shop, came back and cooked trout and vegetables for dinner, watched a programme all about Saturn's moon Titan and Stephen Fry's very funny 'QI'.
If I had been at work I'd have sat at my desk all morning, had lunch, then sat at my desk all afternoon.
So with one holiday down, I have one more before the weekend starts.
What will I do I wonder?
.....posted at 11:31 pm permalink
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Sofas and offroading
We drove down to some shops on Saturday to buy a sofa. We've lived in our house now for about 6 or 7 months and so far we've got by with a tiny little wooden chair, but I'm now permanently bent double, so we thought something a little more comfortable was in order.
There's a huge sofa we like from Ikea but, even though we've knocked down several walls, there's no way it'll fit. We went to Ikea and sat on every sofa in the bloody big blue warehouse, but they were all shit, so we stormed out.
Over the road was a big M&S so we went in there and sat on every sofa and we liked one of them so we bought a couple of them. They'll arrive in December. Until then, we'll manage, don't worry about us.
On Sunday I drove round the left of the Lake District, past Sellafield, to a field just south of Carlisle for some offroadin'. I've only done 1 RTV (road taxed vehicle) competition before and it was gnarly and I broke my steering, but I loved it. This one was with a different club who have an even gnarlier reputation, and I was very worried, but quite excited too.
Anyway, it turned out to be super gnarly with loads of mud and huge drop-offs and steep hills and all that stuff, and I did really well and didn't break anything and it was briiliant! The last course was through a very deep bog in which some people got stuck sideways, with their passenger window submerged in mud, their driver's window pointing up into the sky. I was very worried about this one so when I got to it I put my foot down and went swooshing through it at high speed, bouncing all over the place with mud flying everywhere. I got through it with no damage, but my Land Rover was covered in mud, which I've proudly still not washed off yet.
My dented, scratched and very muddy car is out in the car park next to shiny Mondeos and BMWs and I think it looks cool.
.....posted at 3:13 pm permalink
Friday, October 14, 2005
Huh? What? I don't get it, but I love it!
The West Wing starts again tonight on more4. I used to love this show, even though I barely understood a word of it. I think I've eulogised about it on my blog before - it's the super-skills each character has that I find appealing: it's a bit like The Fantastic Four, but with more characters and no funny outfits or disfigurements.
Anyway, it's on tonight for 2 hours with a pre-cap before - I've missed so many seasons I'll defo need that. Then, on BBC4 there's The Thick of It - I've been meaning to watch this but keep missing it. I'll be tuning in tonight because it looks funny and I like the main guy: he's hilarious.
That's pretty much all night sitting in front of the TV. Bring on the TV-induced bad mood!
.....posted at 4:16 pm permalink
What's a '710'?
A friend of mine works in a garage and told me about this time a lady came in and asked for a 'seven-hundred-ten'. He was a bit embarrassed but had to ask "What's a seven-hundred-ten?" She told him it was "the little piece in the middle of the engine". He still had no idea so got her to draw it: she drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote '710'. So he took her over to another car which had the bonnet up and asked her to show him. She pointed - "It's this.
.....posted at 11:52 am permalink
Dear Mr Santa...
...can I have one of these please.
.....posted at 8:39 am permalink
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Blogging, dogging and happy slapping
I read an article this morning about some research that shows most people are baffled by 'digital buzzwords'. Considering these people consisted of taxi drivers, pub landlords, beauticians and hairdressers, that's not surprising.
Anyway, here's the list of those mysterious words and how many people know what they mean:
1. Flashmobbing 9%
2. Podcasting 12%
3. Metrosexual 22%
4. Blogging 28%
5. Dogging 39%
6. Chav 49%
7. Happy Slapping 56%
8. Broadband 88%
I think this is outrageous! Bloody morons - I mean, fancy being a taxi driver and not knowing what 'flashmobbing' means. How do they manage?
So, for those people in the list, here's what they all mean.
Flashmobbing - when a crowd converges at a specific time and place, to participate in apparent random acts, and then dissipates.
Podcasting - audio files that you can automatically download and listen to on your chosen iPod variant.
Metrosexual - basically someone who's a bit like a trendy city poof.
Blogging - maintaining a 'web log'.
Dogging - having sex with strangers in a public place and encouraging observers.
Chav - "uneducated and uncultured people who are prone to antisocial or immoral behaviour".
Happy Slapping - slapping or punching somebody for no reason and recording it with a camera phone.
Broadband - high speed internet.
The BBC ran the same story a little while back, and they summed it up really nicely:
"Most metrosexuals will know that blogging about their podcasting is perhaps a bit passé, while flashmobbing is decidedly retro. Happy slapping a chav who is indulging in a bit of dogging, however, might be the way to go."
.....posted at 8:15 am permalink
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I'm well lazy I am
As you get older you get to know yourself better, until, on your deathbed you realise you've been Tom Baker all along... then you die. When I was little, I didn't even know my name, but now that I'm 31, I not only know my name, I know how tall I am, what I like to eat, and that I'm a lazy-arsed waste of space.
You may not have realised, but I am actually an incredibly intelligent person, physically strong and emotionally well developed. I can play several instruments to a high standard, am competent at many sports, linguistically talented and socially nimble. I'm able to turn my considerable brain power to any subject, from astrophysics to zoophilia and can adapt to whatever threatening survival situation Mother Nature throws at me.
If I'd applied myself as a youngster I reckon I could have been a top-class tennis player, cricketer or rally driver. If I'd put in the effort I could have had a million-selling album by now. If I'd tried a bit harder I could have a really decent job where I was respected and admired.
But I'm a lazy-arsed waste of space and I couldn't really be bothered. And now, at the half-way point in my life I've just realised that I've wasted all that immense talent god gave me. I'm so ashamed: sorry god. However, from now on, I'm going to really go for it, making sure I realise my potential.
Trouble is, I can't really be arsed.
.....posted at 3:41 pm permalink
Monday, October 10, 2005
Television is da bomb
Television was invented back in 1907 by Brian, Bob and Charlie Heightevee. They named the first TV channel after themselves: BBC 1. The technology was brand new and rather basic, and so programmes were broadcast in mono-colour. This made following the on-screen action rather difficult and was akin to looking at a little square of colour whilst listening to the radio. Even so, it proved wildy successful and, a few years later, bi-colour broadcasting was introduced, the famous 'blacken white'. People loved it, and spent up to 20 minutes a week watching their favourite shows such as 'CSI Suffolk', 'The A Factor' and 'Mr & Mrs Simpsons'.
Then in 1997, full colour was unleashed on the world and the reaction was incredible: kids hooked up their games consoles and played fighting games on big screens; movie lovers plugged in their DVD players and could watch films in stunning colour; babies sat slumped in front of the screen watching adults in colourful outfits singing funny songs. It was official: TV was fantastic and everyone loved it. In just 3 months, every single person in the world had at least 2 TVs, and spent almost 75% of their days watching it.
Some say it's bad for you, and I agree. Reading is better, going outside is better, talking to people is better. In fact, pretty much everything is better. But what can be better than watching TV?
This weekend I watched 'The Secret History of Drawing'... for a while but it was too clever for me, so I watched 'The X Factor' instead. And I watched the 'Heaven & Earth Show' followed by 'Countryfile', perfect Sunday morning viewing. And I watched 'School of Rock' on video, which is a fun film. I watched loads of other stuff too, but that was just to fill the gaps between these shows. I love watching TV and rotting my brain, it's just so good! Thank god for Brian, Bob and Charlie.
.....posted at 1:52 pm permalink
Friday, October 07, 2005
I love blogs
If you're like me and spend a MASSIVE percentage of your life at a computer, you'll know that there are occasions when you crave an 'online break'.
Obviously there are the real world 'lunch break', 'toilet break' and various little 'random breaks' that we all take during the course of a normal day, but these are standard, part of your contract. These 'online breaks' though are unofficial, and they're the best: you look like you're still working, but in fact you're just planning what to watch on TV this evening, deciding which colour Ferrari to get, finding out about the world's biggest dog, checking your bank account to see if you can afford the latest Nokia with built in fishing rod, and checking up on your old school friends to see if any of them sound any happier than you.
The king of online break destinations has to be the blog: regularly changing stories from someone you've got quite close to over the years; new and interesting topics every day; links to other cool stuff on the Internet. Ah, I love blogs.
I've got a whole list of my favourites in my 'favourites' (the best place to keep them) and they're the first thing I check in the morning when I switch on my computer. Once I've read them all I then go to my work website, to check it's still ok. Yup, that's right: blogs take priority.
The only downer is when you visit a blog and it hasn't been updated. You're faced with yesterday's blog, or even worse, last week's blog. Whilst it's often disappointing and sometimes downright annoying, it usually just makes you feel sort of jealous: I'm here checking to see if they've done a new blog whilst they're out actually living. That's not fair.
Even though this flash of reality can be quite crippling, nothing beats the rush of excitement you get when you click on the address and see a huge new blog appear on your screen. "Ah," you think, "the luxury: there's at least 5 minutes of 'online break' there that I can enjoy whilst still looking productive".
I love blogs.
.....posted at 11:59 am permalink
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Reminiscing
I'm feeling well fed up today, like proper down in the dumps. I mean, look at my face: do I look like I'm bovvered?
So I thought I'd go through my old blogs for something to take my mind of all the shite that a daily office routine regularly provides.
It's nice to have a little record of the past like this. Here are a few examples...
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I don't think the Oscars were very good this year. Well, maybe they were. Okay, they were good. You're right, they were probably the best ever.
Anyway, 'Catch Me If You Can' is quite a good film I think, very enjoyable. Well, not that enjoyable. In fact, it was quite boring. Okay, very dull.
It's been very warm and sunny recently. Perhaps a little chilly in the shade but quite nice really. Not as hot as it could be, you're right. I give in, it's been lousy.
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
It's boiling today!
According to the office thermometer it is 27.5 degrees.
According to my watch it is 27 degrees.
I'm sat at my desk doing nothing - I'm on a quiet personal strike. I'm not walking out of work or anything drastic, I'm just not doing any work.
And if anyone has a problem with that they can install air conditioning.
Friday, July 23, 2004
Potatoes
Monday, July 26, 2004
Original versions of popular sayings
I've spent a lot of time researching popluar sayings and have discovered that many have changed over the years. Here are the originals...
Every cloud has a silver lime in (popularised by South American lime pickers)
Absinthe makes the heart grow stronger (an old French advertising campaign)
Great mines stink alike (refers to the smell of productive mines in South Wales)
Everything but the kitchen sinks (attributed to Thomas Andrews, the designer of the Titanic)
You can't budge a book by its cover (refers to old dust covers that were so flimsy, you couldn't pick books up by them)
Where's your heart? On your sleeve! (popular joke among heart surgeons)
Everyone's in the same goat (apparently, goats used to be much bigger in the past and could accommodate up to 17 grown men)
The straw that strokes the camel's back (a bedouin's most useful tool)
The early bird catches worms (refers to the medical fact that girls who stay out late tend to get worms)
Better latte than never (modern New York phrase often heard in Starbucks)
Turd over a new leaf (the dog walker's lament)
Don't look a gimp whore in the mouth (good advice)
It costs a finger and thumb (due to inflation, things now cost an arm and a leg)
Don't count your chickens at Brands Hatch (general advice given by the government to new farmers)
I can bite off more than you can, Chew (a boast by Han Solo in 'Star Wars')
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Now, I'd never claim to be a great copywriter. I used to think I was pretty good, but I've recently realised that this wasn't actually true.
However, I can definitely spot bad copy.
I've been having a look at some Lake District hotel websites... and they've been driving me mad! Some are so shockingly bad I feel like smashing my computer to bits and screaming "are you fucking joking" at the broken pieces.
But I don't, mainly because I'm at work.
Here are some examples:
"At the southern rim of the Lakes, just far enough off the well-trodden and obvious tracks to be left in peace, is Furness facing the Leven Estuary with the mountains at its back. It is a working community of farms and market towns. Of course there are pockets of the 20th Century. But what we would call Old Furness moves to a different rhythm; where the visitor is welcomed more for the common interest in the place and his friendly conversation than any other thing." Pure genius! www.thefalls.co.uk
"A Place for country lovers."
"From the moment you arrive, you’re bound to be impressed with Artlegarth" - next to this is an out-of-focus picture of a shitty looking cabin. I give up. www.lodgebreaks.co.uk
"Inspired by the need to ‘get away’, the Brathay Lodge is more than just a place to stay, it is a unique break in itself. (Eh?)
It is a place in which you can totally relax and relish your surroundings, both indoors and out. (Huh?)
The newly restored Brathay Lodge is very clear in its intentions. You will be struck by the attention to detail that affects your comfort and demeanour. The idea is to seduce and relax each guest into a sense of escape." (Ah, I see!) www.brathay-lodge.com
"Chestnuts Some where special." Mmm. www.chestnuts-hotel.co.uk
"The Cavendish Arms will promise you only one thing. We will never let you down in saying that our aim is, any customer who walks through our doors will never leave us not as a customer but as our friend." That's one hell of a promise! www.thecavendisharms.co.uk
Grrrrrrrrr!!!
I've written loads of blogs over the years; so much rubbish! But it's been fun, and I'm glad it's all still there. I promise that for as long as I can manage, I will continue to write these meaningless blogs about my little life. And if I don't manage it for much longer, it'll have gone on too long enough as it was, so far.
.....posted at 3:18 pm permalink
Running in the woods in the dark
The weather's been a little wintery recently, so, when yesterday afternoon turned out to be lovely and sunny, I decided to stop off at Gummer's Howe on the way back from work to go for a run in the woods. The drive up there is really nice, and as I climbed up above Lake Windermere, the sun was low in the sky behind the summit. I parked, got changed and set off into the woods. I'd never been in there before, but I had a rough idea of where to go.
After 15 minutes I'd pretty much got to the end of the track so I had two options: turn back or carry on into the unknown. I still felt pretty strong, and I didn't want to turn back, so I carried on. After 35 minutes of running through the trees I got to a big track that led downhill and I happily ran along enjoying the wonderful views, thinking it was taking me back to the start. As I got further down this track it became clear that the view I was looking at didn't contain Lake Windermere, which meant I was going the wrong way. I stopped, looked around, and realised I was totally lost. I had absolutely no idea what that valley ahead of me was, I couldn't see Gummer's Howe, part of the route here had been 'off-track' and I couldn't be sure of finding it again and it was getting dark. Bugger.
So I retraced my steps as best I could, leaving the track at a well-hidden footpath sign that looked like it headed in the right direction. It turned out I had no idea which was the right direction: it led me past a huge pond which I'd not seen before, out to the edge of the woods overlooking yet another valley that didn't contain Lake WIndermere. By now it was proper dark and I still hadn't got anywhere I recognised. But I had reached the edge of the woods and it wasn't quite so dark, and I could see a farm in the distance, so I headed for that. From there I followed a little track that led to a road which I sprinted down to finally make it back to the start 1 hour and 15 minutes later.
It was the longest run I've ever done, and the most stupid. Might do it again tonight!
.....posted at 7:47 am permalink
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
And it's goodbye from him...
I don't know about you but I grew up watching these two: we even used to do little news sketches like them.
See ya Ronnie.
.....posted at 2:49 pm permalink
Ray Mears in my Land Rover
Ray Mears is one of my heroes. I've even got a signed copy of one of his books which I love: it's one of my most cherished possessions.
My Land Rover is another of my favourite things.
Listening to my iPod whilst driving in my Land Rover is something I really enjoy.
So today's was a wonderful journey into work: I listened to a podcast of Ray Mears on the Chris Evans show on my iPod whilst driving my Land Rover. It doesn't get much better than that. Well, it would have been much better had I been going in any direction other than 'to work', but apart from that...
.....posted at 11:11 am permalink
Monday, October 03, 2005
Modern art, wine, cars and hardcore porn
Whilst there's lots of complicated technology powering the Internet (Sony, Panasonic, BMW and Gore-Tex), at the surface all the information is organised and delivered to us, the user, based on keywords (such as boobs, mobile phone, DVD). That's how search works, give or take.
On the right of my blog is a column of adverts - if you click on them I get a little bit of money with which to feed my starving children. If you wouldn't mind clicking on them all every day that would be great. Seriously, that would be really good. Please.
So I'm including all sorts of keywords (such as holiday, jobs, books, sex, motorhome, Ricky Martin, ring tone, poker) to see what ads appear there on the right as a result. It'll take a few days, so we'll have to be patient. It's like waiting for a train whilst listening to an MP3 player, chewing gum and reading the Guardian, thinking about whether to buy some Walker's crisps or Hula Hoops, watching a girl walking by like a supermodel carrying a Versace suitcase, wondering if the new Guy Richie movie is as good as the Sun says, whether sitting on the platform will give you piles, and if viagra actually works.
.....posted at 4:07 pm permalink
No music, just talking
I've been listening to my iPod whilst driving to work for around 8 months now, and, whilst I like most of the music I've got on there, I've started to hanker after something else. I'd listen to the radio but I've still not fixed my aerial after snapping it off-roading, so my only source is my iPod.
So I looked about for some podcasts, and got a few talky bits downloaded: the 'Today' programme from Radio 4, some guy talking about weird new music from the US, movie reviews by Mark Kermode, and Dr Karl on Triple J. This last one is what I listened to this mornng and it was brilliant! Triple J is an Australian 'youth' radio station that I listened to when we lived out there. It's really good - they have loads of cool music (a bit like the old 'Evening Session' on Radio 1, if you can remember that), fun phone-ins and interesting talk shows. This one involves people phoning in and asking Dr Karl all sorts of things - he's very clever and funny and it's really interesting. I'd wholeheartedly recommend it.
Listening to something other than music on the drive in was good. I think I'll give Mark Kermode a go on the way home :-)
.....posted at 8:12 am permalink
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Window open, singing along full blast
Some songs you like, some you don't. That's ok, you can't hate everything!
It was foul weather on the way in this morning, so, whilst my driver's window was open as usual, I had the heater on full-blast to keep me warm. And because it was raining, I had to turn up the music to hear it. Which meant that when this tune came on the iPod, and I turned the volume up even louder still, I had to sing at the top of my voice to hear myself above all that noise. I wonder what the schoolkids waiting for their bus must have thought as I passed them!
Artist and title please (of one of the greatest songs of all time):
"Now she walks through her sunken dream, to the seat with the clearest view.
And she's hooked to the silver screen."
.....posted at 3:57 pm permalink
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
It's nice to know there are people out there that do this
Get your headphones on or turn the volume up, stop everything and
watch this.
(Nicked it off a pooter superhero)
.....posted at 10:42 pm permalink
Easiest music quiz in the world, ever! Vol 1
In the past I've had a sneaking suspicion some of you have used a search engine to find the artist and song titles. If that's true, I'm not angry, just a little disappointed: ultimately you're cheating yourself.
Anyway, you really shouldn't need to refer to anything other than your brain for this one.
"Do you go to the country? It isn't very far.
There are people there who'll hurt you, because of who you are."
.....posted at 9:27 am permalink
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
How to quit
If you work in an office you know how bloody awful it is, and how much of your time is spent staring out the window daydreaming about what you could be doing if only you weren't being held captive in an ergonomic chair, sitting at a desk adorned with all sorts of grey technology, listening to repeats of the same conversations over and over again.
Some people manage to escape and you gaze jealously through the wire fence at them as they skip across the windswept tundra to the white Ford Mustang waiting to pick them up and take them back to 'life'.
Oh well, I suppose I'd better just carry on...
.....posted at 8:01 am permalink
Monday, September 26, 2005
And then it struck me... 'it's a bit like life'
I'm at work, busy. You know: phone calls, paperwork, post-its, computers, "sell, sell, sell!", "you're fired!" and so on.
It's nearly time to go home (I usually call this 'home-time' but I get the impression this phrase doesn't suit me any more: I'm a big fat bearded office worker with a snagged tie and a sweat-stained M&S shirt).
So anyway, I used to eat sweets in the afternoon to keep me going. It's bloody tough getting through a day in an office. You can just about make it through the morning to lunch time becuase you had lunch time to look forward to. When you get back from lunch, the afternoon appears before you like a horizonless desert: how the hell are you going to get through it! My answer is sweets, and lots of them.
Well, it used to be at least. Now that I can barely get out of my chair, I've switched to nuts and raisins, the healthy option. So I have a big bag of mixed nuts and raisins on my desk and this keeps me going. Except that some of the nuts are horrible - I'm not sure which because I just grab handfuls. The nicest part of these handfuls is the raisins. So I've been picking out the raisins. And it suddenly dawned on me that this is a bit like life: I'm picking out all the good things (the raisins, which I like) and having them now, but leaving all the horrible things (the nuts, which I don't like) which will leave me faced with a load of horrible things (a snack supply consisting only of nuts). It's a metaphor, and I think it's rather neat.
I should have just bought a big bag of raisins, shouldn't I.
.....posted at 4:00 pm permalink
Wherever I slay my cat, that's my home
Project 'house' is coming along quite nicely, thanks for asking.
We spent the weekend tiling the lounge with big grey slate tiles. It looks really nice so it's worth it, but boy was it hard going. You have to cut the tiles (using a very messy and noisy water-cooled machine), mix up the adhesive and lay the tiles, making sure to keep them as clean as possible. This took about 9 hours to do. Then you have to clean them all again, getting every last bit off them before sealing them with some nasty stuff, then grout, then clean again, then seal again. We've still got the last two bits to do, even though we worked solidly all weekend.
So both bedrooms are now plastered, painted and carpeted, as are the landing, stairway and hall. The spare bedroom is finished - it's got curtains. The main one's still needs a few finishing touches but it's as good as done. The kitchen needs some plasterwork doing, the fireplace building and some skirting... and then that's done. The lounge floor needs finishing, then we have to put some skirting up, paint and... that's it!
DIY's a bugger.
(Little quiz: what does B&Q stand for? Answer tomorrow.)
.....posted at 8:11 am permalink
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Camping next to water
After work on Friday, Spooky and I drove out to Wasdale Head by Wastwater in the western Lakes. It's a lovely drive, through some beautiful countryside. It's only about 35 miles from Windermere, but it took 2 hours along little winding lanes and over two very steep passes, Wrynose and Hardknott.
So we arrived at 19:30 and set off on our walk up Great Gable. The plan was to climb up to Sty Head Pass and camp for the night, then continue on in the morning, getting to the summit and back down in time for lunch. The path was very steep but clear, which was lucky because the sun had set and we were now walking in the dark. There was nowhere to pitch a tent along this part of the walk so we had to push on to the pass, even though we could barely see where we were going. After 1 1/2 hours we made it, found an almost flat bit of dry grass and set up camp, had some dinner and watched the moon rise over the mountain. It was bitterly cold so we quickly retreated into the tent.
The next morning we woke up at about 7:30, had breakfast, packed the stuff away and watched the sunrise: it was a lovely bright morning. We set off on part 2 at 8:30, walking along the South Traverse path below the main ridge up to the summit. This path is awesome: it passes below some wonderful cliffs, home to some of the best rock climbing in the area. We scrambled along over boulders and scree slopes, passing the famous Napes Needle and Sphinx, before reaching Little Hell Gate. There are two 'gates' (old Cumbrian for 'way') along this path: Great Hell Gate and Little Hell Gate. They're both huge scree slopes that run from the summit ridge down to the valley, and are rather impressive. Anyway, our route took us up this second one. Scrambling up scree is tough going, and it took us 45 minutes to get to the top, where we stopped for a breather. We were in the cloud by now so couldn't see much, although there was the occassional break during which we could see the mountain top ahead.
From here it was a simple climb up to the top, a huge rocky summit with incredible views (through the clouds) all around. We spent a little time taking it all in before setting off down the western side, from where we finally made it back to the start at 13:00 - it had taken a bit longer than I'd expected! I was absolutely knackered, even Spooky - who'd been a wonderful partner the whole way round - was looking a bit tired. 7 miles in 6 hours - not exactly quick!
I've always wanted to do this walk, and always meant to wild camp after work, but it's taken me a long time to get round to it. It was absolutely brilliant: camping out away from everything is so nice, waking up surrounded by mountains is invigorating, and early morning walking so peaceful - it's something I'll definitely do again, soon.
See the pictures
.....posted at 8:28 am permalink
Sunday, September 11, 2005
babyhobo nice tshirts
I'd like to introduce you to babyhobo.com, a little project I've been working on over the last few months.
Have a look and show all your friends!
.....posted at 7:44 pm permalink
Friday, September 09, 2005
Music to drive through the rain to
It was chucking it down on the way in this morning, so I had my music on a little bit louder than usual to drown out the sound of the swooshing rain. It's fun driving a Land Rover through puddles - you don't really need to slow down, there's no fear of them being too deep, and if you go fast enough you can cause a mini-tsunami that splashes passers-by.
Anyway, this came in my ears today - artist and song if you would. A raindrop to the winner.
"On me dit que nos vies ne valent pas grand chose,
Elles passent en un instant, comme fanent les roses. "
.....posted at 10:03 am permalink
Thursday, September 08, 2005
You've lost a bit of weight, haven't you?
Boy oh boy!
.....posted at 3:25 pm permalink
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Run, Forrest, run!
I've recently been doing a bit of running after work. Nothing impressive, just a couple of miles to counter the 9+ hours of sitting about I do for my job.
I started this ages ago, doing 2 or 3 nights a week on the fells near my house. It was good, and I increased this to 4 or 5 nights a week. Then I upped the distance and moved from the fells to the beach. Then I moved from the beach to the lanes round my house. All this time I just ran in my trainers - I didn't want to fall into that trap of buying some fancy trainers for them to just sit gathering dust on my exercise bike and gym membership card.
I'm pretty confident I'm 'into' running now, so I bought a pair of proper running plimsoles at the weekend (mine aren't yellow like in that picture).
I tried them out yesterday and they were good. I shaved 1 minute off my time because of them. Well, probably because of them. Well, maybe not. The only thing about them is that I don't really notice them. They're very comfortable and light and supportive and protective - but I'd hoped to feel something for my £70. But I suppose not feeling anything is what it's all about: I didn't feel any pain, any blisters, any jarring, any stones underfoot...
So they're really good!
.....posted at 11:18 am permalink
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Do I lack toes?
Since the age of 22 I've avoided dairy.
When I was 18 I started having bad stomach aches, really bad. I went to the doctor and he did various tests and said I had IBS, prescribing peppermint tablets. They were rubbish and were of no help whatsoever: I still had crippling stomach aches all the time. I went to a different doctor and he did more tests and still the diagnosis was IBS: try peppermint tea and deep breathing. Useless. I went to see different experts but got no satisfaction. I think they liked the way IBS sounded as it left their mealy mouths.
So I took matters into my own hands. I did some research and some experiments and found out that when I avoided dairy I didn't have stomach aches. So I avoided dairy and felt much better. It was a drag not being able to eat chocolate, cakes, cheese and so on, and to have to be careful in restaurants, but it was much better than having stomach aches.
A few years later I started getting similar pains again. I wasn't eating any dairy, none at all, not even salt & vinegar crisps as they contain lactose in the flavouring (it's bloody everywhere, you'd be amazed), yet the old pain had come back.
So I did my own tests again and found that it was gluten this time. I cut it out and felt much better, so I avoided it from then on.
This has been going on for a long time now. I'm not actually allergic to dairy and gluten. I'm not even intollerant. I thought I was for a while but had proper tests at the hospital and they all came back negative, emphatically so (I even had the camera down the throat thing which is nasty). But that didn't matter: by avoiding these foods I felt better, and since feeling better was the whole point, that was good enough for me.
I've started eating gluten again, having bread every now and then. If I don't overdo it I'm fine, and that's great.
I recently had a spoonful of milk. I figured it's been so long my body could surely accept it by now. I was ok. Last night Corrie admitted that she'd put butter in some food she'd made the other night, to do a proper test on me without me being aware. I was fine.
So it's looking hopeful. I'm going to do some more gentle experiments over the next few weeks, trying little bits of milk every now and then, gradually building up to a king size Snickers. If it doesn't make me ill, you just watch me pile on the pounds!
.....posted at 10:07 am permalink
Monday, September 05, 2005
The wedding of the year
We went to our first wedding of the year on Friday and it was really nice.
Our journey over to Newcastle was uneventful, although we did get stuck in traffic and ended up arriving at the restaurant a little late: the happy couple were already married.
In fact, even if we'd been on time they'd have still been married by the time we got there: they'd had the ceremony earlier, somewhere else.
There were lots of people at the restaurant who I didn't know - it's always interesting to meet new people. These were the bride's family, some of whom I'd heard about before so it was good to put faces to names. We had a lovely meal and sat around chatting in the afternoon sunshine.
We then made our way into town to the club, managing to get lost on the way. Corrie's little brother, who's not little but is 15, was with us and we were a little concerned that he wouldn't get in - but he did. We had a private room reserved for us behind the bar and it was cool - very dark with feeble little lights, booths and comfy seating, mirrors and music.... We spent the evening chatting and drinking.
And that was it. We didn't stay up late but we did call in at the kebab shop on the way back.
.....posted at 8:41 am permalink
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Where's the wedding at?
Today is Friday for me: I'm off tomorrow to go to Corrie's brother's wedding.
It's going to be brilliant! Just imagine, no work for a whole weekday, none whatsoever. Ah, the luxury.
The wedding will be good too I reckon. We're not going to the ceremony itself but rather the dinner (in the afternoon) at a nice little Italian restaurant, followed by an evening in Tokyo.
.....posted at 12:32 pm permalink
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Walking for walking's sake
With 3 full days off, and Corrie at a dog show up near Carlisle, me and Spooky went for a spot of walking in the north Lakes with some camping with Corrie at her show on Saturday. Normally I don't go so far north 'cos it's a bit of a trek from my house, and there's so much nearby it's not usually worth it. But as we were camping up there it made sense.
Blencathra was our Saturday walk, and it was ace. We climbed up via a ridge to the west, wandered around the flat top for a bit (just as it started to rain) then descended via Sharp Edge which was very airy and a bit nerve-wracking but good fun. Spooky managed it so easily she made me look like a cumbersome oaf, but then she is a bit nifty at rock climbing.
The weather on Sunday was pretty nasty so we did a low level walk near Thirlmere, climbing up onto High Rigg and back down through the valley of St John's in the Vale. It was raining most of the time and very breezy at the top, but it was still nice. Spooky slept the whole way home - I think 2 proper walks in one weekend was a bit too much excitement for her in one go.
I did take some photos but they're still on my camera: our house is an absolute nightmare at the moment with stuff piled randomly in the tiny space we have that's not being worked on, so getting myself organised to do pictures is a luxury that'll just have to wait. As is being able to relax, but that's another story.
.....posted at 10:14 am permalink
Friday, August 26, 2005
Soundtrack to a crisp winter's morning
With a bright sun burning the iced dew off the fields and arctic fox darting out from under the bushes as I drove by, I took the coastal route to work this morning. After a few iPod skips and a couple of decent tracks, this came on, just right for the drive through the woods and down past the beach.
Song name and artist if you would, a Mini-Milk to the winner.
"Walking in the breeze,
On the plains of old Sedona (Arizona),
Among the trees"
.....posted at 8:24 am permalink
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
DIY heaven
It's been a while since I've told you about the progress of our house renovation. That's because it's been quite a while since there's been any progress. But now it's all starting to happen!
The utilty roof has been redone, and we're just waiting to get the walls patched up before we paint. The end gable wall has been pebble-dashed (in keeping with the rest of the house). We've painted one side of the house white and just need a few days of good weather (and the energy - it's bloody hard work) to do the other three sides.
Our lovely pine kitchen units are in place, our groovy range cooker is now connected up (it's duel fuel so it needed to have LPG fitted and its own electricity circuit installed, which were both a major hassle), we've even been cooking on it - no more microwave meals for us! The oak worktops are being oiled in preparation for the joiner to come and fit them and once that's done, we just need to get the fireplace built, decorate and buy furniture and the ktichen will be done.
We've chopped off plaster in the lounge and hallway so our builder can damp-proof and replaster, the electrician's been in and sorted out all the sockets, we've stripped all the wallpaper from the spare room, landing and staircase and our builder's busy plastering at the moment. When the spare room is finished we'll move our stuff out of our bedroom and strip that so it can be replastered. Once he's done all that, and done the damp-proofing downstairs, Mr Builder just needs to build the fireplace in the lounge and then we'll tile, decorate and buy furniture, and the house will be done.
Mmm, there's still quite a lot to do isn't there.
.....posted at 9:49 am permalink
Monday, August 22, 2005
Squirrel in own personal hell
I saw one of the nastiest things I've seen in a long time this morning on the way into work. It involves a squirrel and a busy road, so if you're a sensitive soul, please click away now.
As drivers, we're all too aware of the dead bundles of fluff, beaks, bone and blood that litter our highways. It's very sad but that's human advancement for you: something's got to suffer and in the case of personal transportation, it's the little guys such as the rabbit, the hedgehog, the magpie, or even the badger. It's rare that it's actually us that causes these deaths though, we usually just run over the already squashed carcasses long after the death has occurred. Not that this is any better, it's just that it's slightly easier to ignore if it wasn't our fault.
Today's macabre scene involced a squirrel, a grey squirrel. Now, you may know that I love squirrels, I think they're ace little creatures. I love them all, whether grey or red, I'm not squirrelest. So it could only have been worse if it was a dog or a human girl clutching a dolly.
There in front of me was a dead squirrel. I swerved so as not to run over it, and just as I drove over, I saw it twitch. I looked into my rear view-mirror and saw that it wasn't dead: it's back legs had been squashed and it was hauling itself across the rest of the road to the safety of the verge. I don't know if he made it. God, I hope someone ran him over and put him out of his misery, the poor little fella, because he was certainly in a bad way.
For the rest of my journey I played the scene over and over in my head: him standing at the side of the road, psyching himself up, then making a dash for it, getting clipped by a gigantic machine, pain shooting up his little body as he tried to crawl to the other side, another machine running over his back legs making them a useless mangled mess, his mates watching in horror from the trees by the side of the road, shouting encouragement to try and get him to safety.
This bloody gruesome ordeal must have been utterly horrific for him, and yet it was all happening on such a small scale no one was really aware. It won't be on the news tonight, no one will remember him, there won't be a funeral or a gravestone.
So, if you would just join me in a 10 second silence please:
'Little grey squirrel: I didn't know you but you looked nice.
Sorry we hurt you, we didn't mean anything by it.'
.....posted at 9:11 am permalink
Friday, August 19, 2005
Old folk, they don't know they're born!
I went for a stroll at lunchtime. We'd had a meeting in the morning that went on through till about 1:30, so we had lunch brought it for us, which meant I had an hour in which to do whatever I wanted without having to buy and eat lunch. (Fascinating so far isn't it).
So I went for a stroll.
I walked down to the little sweet shop and bought some 'sweet baccy', and had a little argument with the fat lady who works there: most of the bag she gave me was filled with sugar, and there wasn't much 'baccy'. She said that's the way it is, so I bought it anyway, and it was lush.
I then walked down a little lane round the back of the village and it was nice and peaceful. The path edges a retirement home, and with it being such a nice afternoon, they were all indoors.
"Shame," I thought, "they should be sitting out in the sunshine."
But then I thought they probably prefer it indoors where there is no chilly wind or burning sun. They were sitting in the conservatory with the doors wide open, and I looked in and there was one fella sitting there reading the paper, his feet up, the sun streaming in.
And I thought, damn, I wish I was old and didn't have anything to do.
.....posted at 2:26 pm permalink
Thursday, August 18, 2005
'Hello, my name is Ben and I'm not always right'
Over the last few days, things have happened to shake my personal paradigm, and I think I'm a better person as a result. Let me explain.
I think I'm right about most things most of the time. At work I often think the decisions other people make are the wrong ones, and that, if I'd been consulted, things would have worked out better. When I'm driving I often chastise other drivers for having done something wrong, such as not indicate or being in the wrong lane at a roundabout. I haven't read a book for about 6 years now because I get stuck on the first page, thinking the way the author has constructed certain sentences to be clumsy, or incorrect. I even question chord changes in songs, thinking if only they'd gone up instead of down it would have been a perfect song.
I doubt I'm alone in this way of looking at the world, it's probably an attitude we naturally develop over time, a healthy arrogance that enables us to have confidence in ourselves and what we do.
But, as I said, a few things have made me doubt this recently. Today was the one that really did it. I was driving along the narrow lanes round my house heading to work, when I rounded a bend a little too enthusiastically. A red van was heading towards me and the driver signalled quite forcefully for me to get over onto my side of the road. At first I was annoyed: how dare he tell me how to drive, I knew damn well where I should be, and I was getting over to my side anyway, I was just in the middle of the road for a little bit.
A moment or two later, after I'd calmed down, I realised that I've done exactly what the red van driver had just done to me on many occasions, and probably made lots of people angry and annoyed. And the red van driver was right: I shouldn't have been in the middle of the road, I should have been on my side.
So he was entitled to point and mouth 'get over', and I should have just thought, 'yep, you're right, sorry'.
So I tried this attitude out on the rest of the journey and it felt good: I didn't get cross when someone did something wrong - people are entitled to make mistakes, and who am I to judge them - and I didn't get cross when people told me off for doing something wrong - I'm entitled to make mistakes, and who am I to stop people judging me.
So I'm going to give this attitude a bit more of a go for the rest of the week. It might seem a bit feeble to some of you, or a bit submissive, but I do get quite angry sometimes and that's not good, so maybe taking away the pressure of having to be right all the time might help me be a better person.
I'm sure you'll let me know if you notice any improvement.
.....posted at 10:09 am permalink
Lost
Are you watching 'Lost'?
If you're not you should - it's great! A plane crashes and there are 48 survivors... but they're not any old survivors. There's a handsome doctor who is very brave, a pretty girl with a dark secret, an ugly fat bloke who's a bit of a nerd, a creepy calm man who sits staring out to sea a lot, a middle-eastern man who's good with electronics, a heavily pregnant girl who's not got a husband, a Japanese couple who don't speak English... the type of people you normally find on a plane. They're stranded on an island and no-one knows they're there. And there's some sort of monster on the island that's killed the pilot and crushes trees as it rushes (invisibly) through the forest roaring. It's good fun and quite exciting.
As I was watching it yesterday I realised that it seemed to be effortlessly taking us along with it. You know how sometimes you're watching something and all of a sudden you realise that you've been totally engrossed - well, like that. A bit like an M Night Shyamalan movie. It seemed so easy I started thinking 'why aren't there more programs like this?' So I started paying a bit more attention and, whilst it's relatively formulaic, it's a good formula, and it's got all the right ingredients such as well-written dialogue, interesting characters, cool scenery, exciting twists in the plot.... That's why there aren't more programs like this: getting all this right is probably really hard.
You didn't ask for a review, and I hadn't planned to give one, it just happened. Life's like that sometimes.
.....posted at 9:41 am permalink
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