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Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I'm well lazy I am
As you get older you get to know yourself better, until, on your deathbed you realise you've been Tom Baker all along... then you die. When I was little, I didn't even know my name, but now that I'm 31, I not only know my name, I know how tall I am, what I like to eat, and that I'm a lazy-arsed waste of space.
You may not have realised, but I am actually an incredibly intelligent person, physically strong and emotionally well developed. I can play several instruments to a high standard, am competent at many sports, linguistically talented and socially nimble. I'm able to turn my considerable brain power to any subject, from astrophysics to zoophilia and can adapt to whatever threatening survival situation Mother Nature throws at me.
If I'd applied myself as a youngster I reckon I could have been a top-class tennis player, cricketer or rally driver. If I'd put in the effort I could have had a million-selling album by now. If I'd tried a bit harder I could have a really decent job where I was respected and admired.
But I'm a lazy-arsed waste of space and I couldn't really be bothered. And now, at the half-way point in my life I've just realised that I've wasted all that immense talent god gave me. I'm so ashamed: sorry god. However, from now on, I'm going to really go for it, making sure I realise my potential.
Trouble is, I can't really be arsed.
.....posted at 3:41 pm permalink
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