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Thursday, October 06, 2005
Reminiscing
I'm feeling well fed up today, like proper down in the dumps. I mean, look at my face: do I look like I'm bovvered?
So I thought I'd go through my old blogs for something to take my mind of all the shite that a daily office routine regularly provides.
It's nice to have a little record of the past like this. Here are a few examples...
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I don't think the Oscars were very good this year. Well, maybe they were. Okay, they were good. You're right, they were probably the best ever.
Anyway, 'Catch Me If You Can' is quite a good film I think, very enjoyable. Well, not that enjoyable. In fact, it was quite boring. Okay, very dull.
It's been very warm and sunny recently. Perhaps a little chilly in the shade but quite nice really. Not as hot as it could be, you're right. I give in, it's been lousy.
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
It's boiling today!
According to the office thermometer it is 27.5 degrees.
According to my watch it is 27 degrees.
I'm sat at my desk doing nothing - I'm on a quiet personal strike. I'm not walking out of work or anything drastic, I'm just not doing any work.
And if anyone has a problem with that they can install air conditioning.
Friday, July 23, 2004
Potatoes
Monday, July 26, 2004
Original versions of popular sayings
I've spent a lot of time researching popluar sayings and have discovered that many have changed over the years. Here are the originals...
Every cloud has a silver lime in (popularised by South American lime pickers)
Absinthe makes the heart grow stronger (an old French advertising campaign)
Great mines stink alike (refers to the smell of productive mines in South Wales)
Everything but the kitchen sinks (attributed to Thomas Andrews, the designer of the Titanic)
You can't budge a book by its cover (refers to old dust covers that were so flimsy, you couldn't pick books up by them)
Where's your heart? On your sleeve! (popular joke among heart surgeons)
Everyone's in the same goat (apparently, goats used to be much bigger in the past and could accommodate up to 17 grown men)
The straw that strokes the camel's back (a bedouin's most useful tool)
The early bird catches worms (refers to the medical fact that girls who stay out late tend to get worms)
Better latte than never (modern New York phrase often heard in Starbucks)
Turd over a new leaf (the dog walker's lament)
Don't look a gimp whore in the mouth (good advice)
It costs a finger and thumb (due to inflation, things now cost an arm and a leg)
Don't count your chickens at Brands Hatch (general advice given by the government to new farmers)
I can bite off more than you can, Chew (a boast by Han Solo in 'Star Wars')
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Now, I'd never claim to be a great copywriter. I used to think I was pretty good, but I've recently realised that this wasn't actually true.
However, I can definitely spot bad copy.
I've been having a look at some Lake District hotel websites... and they've been driving me mad! Some are so shockingly bad I feel like smashing my computer to bits and screaming "are you fucking joking" at the broken pieces.
But I don't, mainly because I'm at work.
Here are some examples:
"At the southern rim of the Lakes, just far enough off the well-trodden and obvious tracks to be left in peace, is Furness facing the Leven Estuary with the mountains at its back. It is a working community of farms and market towns. Of course there are pockets of the 20th Century. But what we would call Old Furness moves to a different rhythm; where the visitor is welcomed more for the common interest in the place and his friendly conversation than any other thing." Pure genius! www.thefalls.co.uk
"A Place for country lovers."
"From the moment you arrive, you’re bound to be impressed with Artlegarth" - next to this is an out-of-focus picture of a shitty looking cabin. I give up. www.lodgebreaks.co.uk
"Inspired by the need to ‘get away’, the Brathay Lodge is more than just a place to stay, it is a unique break in itself. (Eh?)
It is a place in which you can totally relax and relish your surroundings, both indoors and out. (Huh?)
The newly restored Brathay Lodge is very clear in its intentions. You will be struck by the attention to detail that affects your comfort and demeanour. The idea is to seduce and relax each guest into a sense of escape." (Ah, I see!) www.brathay-lodge.com
"Chestnuts Some where special." Mmm. www.chestnuts-hotel.co.uk
"The Cavendish Arms will promise you only one thing. We will never let you down in saying that our aim is, any customer who walks through our doors will never leave us not as a customer but as our friend." That's one hell of a promise! www.thecavendisharms.co.uk
Grrrrrrrrr!!!
I've written loads of blogs over the years; so much rubbish! But it's been fun, and I'm glad it's all still there. I promise that for as long as I can manage, I will continue to write these meaningless blogs about my little life. And if I don't manage it for much longer, it'll have gone on too long enough as it was, so far.
.....posted at 3:18 pm permalink
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